Today’s Daily Cal… yawn. Read it through Beatle Beat if you’re going to read it at all. Much more tolerable that way. Besides, the big news item was already covered on CalStuff this weekend.

So let’s see what our friends across the bay are talking about. Here’s an article about campus conservatives! Here’s the twist: the author is apparently a disillusioned Republican turned Democrat! David Brock, anyone?

In order to help you get a handle on the latest phenomenon to hit campus — you — we’ve put together a profile of the three types of campus conservatives: whiners, charismatic conservatives and hell-raisers. See which type is the best match for you.

The Whiner:

You feel like the system is stacked against you. From the moment you step onto campus you feel oppressed. People look at you differently. Your perspective isn’t respected in class. You have a hard time finding people like you.
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If this describes you: Your strategizing about “exposing bias” will get you nowhere. Though you think you’ll be more accepted once you get off campus, if you don’t change now you’ll never be anything more than a whiner.

Sometimes “whining” is warranted. But in some cases, “exposing bias” is just a bad excuse for bad work (JonP gets one right!). Of course, we have whiners from all political persuasions from all walks of life. It’s not surprising to find a few conservatives in this category.

The Charismatic Con:

You’re probably going to end up with a crappy job that makes a lot of money. You’re successful at most things you try, so you’re suspicious of anything that gets in your way — including the government. You probably believe in evolution and don’t think abortion is murder.

If this describes you: The Republican Party is an alliance of libertarians, tycoons, hawks, evangelicals and bigots. You libertarians are being taken for a ride.

The Democratic Party is an alliance of socialists, communists, leftists, peaceniks, and bigots (Jesse Jackson? MEChA?). The country is being taken for a ride.

Actually, as a libertarian, sometimes I do think I’m being taken on a ride by placing my bets with the GOP. If political parties were buses, we’d be in the back of the Republican one talking about capitalism and freedom while the driver takes us to the land of big government and big deficits. The Democrat’s bus (state funded), on the other hand, would pass us by because they need to bus in inner-city youths to public schools to learn how socialism is good and Republicans are bad. Oh yeah, the bus has a quota for underrepresented minorities to fill, so blame your parents if you can’t get a seat.

Let me get back on track. I hope Bush can accomplish all the good things on his agenda during his second term. It’ll be a step back in the right direction for the GOP and more importantly, the country. I’ll stay on for the ride and hope we take the next exit right.

The Hell-raiser

You love the challenge of being on a college campus. You unapologetically oppose affirmative action, think taxation is theft, and / or blame the hippies for losing the war in Vietnam. You are hawkish and patriotic. You know most campus liberals don’t have the facts to support their arguments and relish the chance to point it out to them.
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If this describes you: You are the reason your party is doing so well. Young far-lefties could learn a lot from you. But race baiting is getting old. Move on to national security. Figure out some elegant way to expose the U.N. or something.

Thanks for the tip. Race baiting… ok.

I don’t know what the author’s intention with this piece is, but I guess this is how Democrats see Republicans. I could categorize the left in the same three categories. Whining idiots, regular people, and hardcore political junkies. We need less of the first type and more of the last two.