1. Best Blockade of Sather Gate

The Black Student Union’s “Blackout” in response to the UCSD “Compton Cookout” controversy.

2. Best Failed Initiative

Professor Lakoff’s failed “anti-two-thirds” requirement “for democracy.”

3. Best Party on Campus

Does this even need explanation? Are we not all compatriots? As always, the Berkeley College Republicans is the best party on campus. If we weren’t, we wouldn’t be the Berkeley College Republicans or the California Patriot!

4. Best Voter Fraud

At Berkeley with a lot of insane leftist politics, you can imagine the difficulty we had with finding the winner. Yet, you have to admit that creating a fiasco and spectacle before even assuming office is damn impressive. Congratulations President-Elect Noah Stern!

5. Best Riot Chant

Again, there is some tough competition. Berkeley will be Berkeley. And as you’d expect, the California Patriot will be the California Patriot. As we have an eye for pithy remarks, we had to note (and recognize) this gem: “Whose streets? Our streets!”

6. Best Traffic Blockade

Again, do these categories even need explanations anymore? The clear winner was certainly the Berkeley anarchists’ blockade on March 4 on I-880!

7. Best ASUC Waste of Time

Senate Bill 118 and 119, which would eventually pass as Senate Bill 118A. This bill is more commonly known as the Divest from Israel initiative. Obviously, a group of twenty 20-year olds knows more than a world of actual governing bodies.

8. Best ASUC Waste of Money

Closely related — and not to be outdone — the BEARS Initiative won as the biggest waste of not only ASUC funds but of student funds. The BEARS Initiative was a “student-led” initiative that was disguised as a plan to renovate and upgrade the out-of-date Lower Sproul Plaza. However, it would do this by gradually increasing student fees for the next 40 or so years. And you wonder where our Members of Congress learn the tactics that the employ now? Surely, you have heard of our nation’s college campuses as being the breeding ground for our next generation of leaders!

9. Best On-Campus Occupation

The Wheeler Hall protest, isn’t this a no-brainer?

10. Best Economic Recovery Plan of the Year

In the 2010 ASUC elections, SQUELCH! candidate for ASUC President, Chad Kunert, announced a proposal for an on-campus dispensary on Lower Sproul. What would that dispensary provide for the students of Berkeley? Well, booze and marijuana of course! Trickle down effect anyone?

11. Best Local Non-Profit

We here at the California Patriot are tried and true conservatives. As any conservative would openly admit, we value the importance and beauty of people giving back to their community and engaging in charity for one’s neighbor without being told so and certainly without it being forced by the extraction of our hard earned dollar. It is with great pleasure that we announce the Berkeley needle exchange van as being the best non-profit organization, aside from us of course, in the entire city!