Huckabust

Tax-Hike Mike doesn't belong in the GOP

By Kyle Tibbitts and Alexander Marlow
From the February 2008 Print Edition

            Whenever we turn on cable news these days to get our regular dose of mainstream media punditry, we get some snooty liberal telling us — hardcore Reagan conservatives — to vote for the bass guitar–toting preacher, Mike Huckabee. Take über-lefty Frank Rich of The New York Times for example: “[Huckabee’s] message is simply more uplifting and, in the ethical rather than theological sense, more Christian than that of his rivals.” Or how about transparently liberal MSNBC anchor Mika Brzezinski, who has called him “charming,” “authentic,” and “honest”; we only agree with her first characterization. We’ve been around long enough to know that the left-wing media has always had a giddy infatuation with overweight governors from Arkansas who can sell on the retail level and feel the pain of the common man.

So, why would the liberal media continue to heap praise on a man who has called homosexuality “aberrant and sinful?” The answer is quite clear: the Democrats would surely beat him easily in the fall — and nominating Mike Huckabee would be a disaster for the GOP. Ann Coulter taught us in her best seller How to Talk to a Liberal that you never take advice from your political enemies, and we cannot afford to make that mistake in this election. This is not 1992; the stakes are too high for musical renditions on “The Tonight Show” or floating crosses or dog hangings. With new judges on the horizon, the prospect of a nuclear Iran, and an impending recession, we can’t choose a candidate who spouts the economic rhetoric of a tax-raising Democrat or one with foreign policy expertise inferior to that of Bono.

That being said, Huckabee’s electability problems in a general election match-up against Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama are really secondary for those of us concerned with bringing conservatism back to the country. The problem is much more elemental and much less technical than that: Mike Huckabee is not a conservative.

When you boil it down, every presidential candidate can be placed in one of two categories. The first category consists of those who believe that “good” government is not only possible but necessary for improving people’s lives, managing their health-care decisions, and bailing them out of mortgages they couldn’t afford in the first place. Whether it takes the form of an angry, washedup, one-term senator like John “Silky” Edwards or the matronly, botox-loaded technocrat “Hill-Dog” Clinton, the end result is always the same: higher taxes, economic malaise, and more people sucking on Uncle Sam’s teet. The second category consists of those who realize, as Ronald Reagan did, that government gets in the way of the hard-working, God-loving, entrepreneurial American people. Sadly, like all of the leading Democrats, Huckabee fits squarely in the first category and embodies a wholesale rejection of the Reagan philosophy.

You want the government to ban smoking nationally? Mike Huckabee is your candidate. You want the government to help manage your weight by banning vending machines? Vote for Pastor Mike. You want a president whose oldest son hanged a dog at Boy Scout camp? The Huckster is your man. If you aren’t having second thoughts by now, don’t worry. There’s much more.

As governor of Arkansas, Huckabee raised taxes “net net” by half a billion dollars — an understandable move considering he was handing out taxpayer-funded scholarships to illegal aliens to go with their in-state tuition benefits.

We ought not sing “Kumbaya” over Huckabee’s record on crime either — he pardoned 1,033 criminals, including 12 murderers, myriad rapists, and an assortment of other shady characters. One such criminal was convicted rapist Wayne Dumond, who went on to murder Carol Sue Shields less than a year after he was pardoned. Shields’ mother, Lois Davidson, has said, “If not for Mike Huckabee, Wayne DuMond would’ve been in prison, and Carol Sue would’ve been with us this year for Christmas.”

Republicans are motivated by three factors: economic liberalism, hawkish foreign policy, and social conservatism (primarily on issues such as abortion). Huckabee raised taxes 21 times while governor and has little, if any, knowledge of foreign policy — a disturbing trend manifested by the numerous gaffes since the Benazir Bhutto assassination in Pakistan. Unlike any of the other top candidates, Huckabee only connects with traditional Republicans on one level: abortion. Yet the fact of the matter is that all of the top candidates have vowed to nominate only strict-constructionist judges, rendering their practical stances on abortion identical. Thus, for the sake of this election, Huckabee’s calling card of social conservatism is a complete and utter wash.

Perhaps the most concise case against Huckabee came in the form of a question from Fox NewsChannel’s Chris Wallace in their New Hampshire forum last month: “Governor Huckabee, you have criticized the Bush foreign policy for what you call its ‘arrogant bunker mentality.’ You’ve said that we should shut down Guantanamo and ban waterboarding. You didn’t know about the National Intelligence Estimate on Iran more than 24 hours after it was front-page news. You didn’t know that martial law was lifted in Pakistan two weeks after it was. Can you honestly say that you are ready to be commander in chief of this country?” If Mike Huckabee is ready, then so is Bono.

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