Washington D.C. vs. Berkeley

Two kinds of liberalism with different outcomes

By Margaret Mele
From the February 2008 Print Edition

Washington, D.C.

Uniform: Business suit Positve: Practicality its so cold you can wear fur without having to watch your back for people throwing cans of red paint at you. Positive: Cleanliness people bathe on a regular basis.

Public Transportation: Metro, bus system Negative: It takes numerous people to do one persons job. Example: Two bus employees on each bus. Positive: Clean! No homeless people inside the system, the elevators dont act as bathrooms. Positive: Runs on time!

Public Parks: Inviting Negative: The occasional homeless person. Positive: Perfectly manicured and groomed lawns and flower beds. Beautiful tulips every spring.

Streets and Crosswalks: Clean Negative: Crosswalks are uneven, bumpy, and poorly maintained, and have poor curb cuts for wheelchair access. Positive: No jaywalking! Drivers have the right-of-way and take it. Pedestrians dont walk out in front of speeding cars and expect drivers to slam on their breaks. Sidewalks: Clean! Positive: Wide sidewalks. Positve: Few(er) street vendors, deal in manufactured goods that people may actually want make cheap, easy gifts. Homeless People: Fewer Positve: Normally not suffering from a mental condition. Positive: Timid and ashamed, so they dont typically bother people. Positive: Dont urinate or defecate indiscriminately on private or public property (as much).

Private Business: Strictly controlled, regulated, and taxed Negative: Strictly limited selection: I thought I was in the Soviet Union right before its collapse. When I went to the grocery store and drugstore, there were empty shelves, barely two feet apart, and stacks of boxes of food in the aisles if you were lucky. Produce that looks like the rejects at the packaging plants. Only go shopping Tuesday and Friday if you want to be able to purchase anything. Negative: Not wheelchair-accessible, including big chains like Blockbuster, Chipotle, and RadioShack.

Liberal Atmosphere: Ruled by totalitarian big government. They want to control every single aspect of your life. Its paternalistic the government knows what is best for you. At least the city is clean and doesnt smell.

Berkeley

Uniform: Tattered T-shirt (usually tie-dye) and shorts. Birkenstocks or shoes made from hemp. Clothing optional. Negative: Dirty, unkempt. Positive: You are never the worst-dressed person.

Public Transportation: BART, AC Transit bus system Negative: Invisible workers. You can never find a station agent when you need one. Negative: Filthy Negative: Never on time.

Public Parks: A blight upon the neighborhood. Uninhabitable for normal people. Negative: Peoples Park. Enough said.

Streets and Crosswalks: Last repaired or repaved in the 1970s Negative: Bumpy and uneven roads that are almost impassable. Negative: Inexplicable roadblocks. Negative: Pedestrian right-ofway, always even outside of crosswalks. Inside crosswalks, people dont follow the signals. Pedestrians can dash out right in front of a car and get away with it. Sidewalks: Dirty, grimy Negative: Narrow, cracked, uneven sidewalks with weeds growing out of the cement. Negative: Street vendors selling homemade goods, crowding people off the sidewalk. Negative: Open dealing of not-so-licit substances. Homeless People: Everywhere Negative: Its impossible to differentiate the homeless from everyday residents. Negative: You cant tell if they are crazy, high, hallucinating, delusional, or drunk. Negative: Bold. Negative: Defecate and urinate indiscriminately on private and public property.

Private Business: Strictly controlled, regulated, and taxed Negative: Limited selection: Organic or natural, but few recognizable mainstream brands. Positive: Chain businesses are wheelchair-accessible.

Liberal Atmosphere: Ruled by impractical hippies with delusions of grandeur. Theres a pervading sense of entitlement. People think it is someone elses responsibility to take care of them they have no sense of personal responsibility. The prevailing viewpoint is that everyone should be free to do whatever they want with no repercussions.

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